I am trying something new. I win so many debates with Mattie that I guess I just got bored. Joking. I am not bored of winning. Check out my 5n5 video. If you like it I will keep doing them.
Friday, November 19, 2010
Thursday, November 18, 2010
The Most Dangerous Game[s]
You know how chocolate is pretty awesome? And peanut butter is also pretty awesome? But peanut butter M&Ms are really awesome? This is kind of like that.
I love TV. You're shocked, I'm sure.
Another shocking fact-- I also love drinking. Combine the two, and you've pretty much got the best Thursday night ever.
If you want to hear what Mikey and Mattie have to say about drinking games, consult the Plastercast episode of TT.TKO. But I know you really want to hear what I have to say. My favorite kind of drinking games are ones played along with TV shows. I prefer to play with beer, but that's just because I'm a beer girl. Use your judgment. Just don't blame me for the wretched hangover you get from pounding a shot of Jager every time House is sarcastic. Not my problem. You should've known better.
Law & Order: SVU
1. Drink whenever someone says the word “rape.”
2. Drink whenever they do something in a lab or on a computer that probably can't actually be done in real life.
3. Drink whenever Stabler blows up at someone or gets angry.
4. Drink whenever they play the “BUM BUM” noise.
5. Two drinks whenever it turns out it was the first suspect after all.
American Idol
1. Drink whenever Randy says something completely nonsensical.
2. Drink whenever a contestant tears up; take a bonus drink if they start crying.
3. Two drinks whenever a contestant uses their sad backstory to garner votes.
4. Drink whenever you miss Paula.
5. Finish your beer whenever Simon isn’t wearing a V-neck.*
*This can be adapted to whatever obnoxious habits the new judges have, which I’m sure will be numerous and varied.
1. Drink whenever Jack calls Liz "Lemon."
2. Drink whenever Kenneth does something that totally stereotypes the South but is still pretty funny.
3. Two drinks whenever they try to act like Tina Fey isn't actually pretty hot.
4. Finish your beer whenever Tracey makes complete and total sense.
How I Met Your Mother
1. Drink whenever Bob Saget’s voiceover says “Kids...”
2. Drink whenever Lily and Marshall are sickeningly cute.
3. Drink whenever Ted says something douchey and pretentious.
4. Drink whenever they drink.
5. Finish your beer if Alan Thicke appears.
Two and a Half Men
1. Drink whenever you want to change the channel.*
2. Drink whenever you can guess the punchline before the characters get to it.
3. Two drinks whenever you get angry about Jon Cryer actually winning an Emmy for this dreck.
*Warning: You will end up completely plastered.
Sounds like a blast, right? You pick up the beer; I'll program the TiVo. Cheers!
I love TV. You're shocked, I'm sure.
Another shocking fact-- I also love drinking. Combine the two, and you've pretty much got the best Thursday night ever.If you want to hear what Mikey and Mattie have to say about drinking games, consult the Plastercast episode of TT.TKO. But I know you really want to hear what I have to say. My favorite kind of drinking games are ones played along with TV shows. I prefer to play with beer, but that's just because I'm a beer girl. Use your judgment. Just don't blame me for the wretched hangover you get from pounding a shot of Jager every time House is sarcastic. Not my problem. You should've known better.
Law & Order: SVU1. Drink whenever someone says the word “rape.”
2. Drink whenever they do something in a lab or on a computer that probably can't actually be done in real life.
3. Drink whenever Stabler blows up at someone or gets angry.
4. Drink whenever they play the “BUM BUM” noise.
5. Two drinks whenever it turns out it was the first suspect after all.
American Idol1. Drink whenever Randy says something completely nonsensical.
2. Drink whenever a contestant tears up; take a bonus drink if they start crying.
3. Two drinks whenever a contestant uses their sad backstory to garner votes.
4. Drink whenever you miss Paula.
5. Finish your beer whenever Simon isn’t wearing a V-neck.*
*This can be adapted to whatever obnoxious habits the new judges have, which I’m sure will be numerous and varied.
1. Drink whenever Jack calls Liz "Lemon."
2. Drink whenever Kenneth does something that totally stereotypes the South but is still pretty funny.
3. Two drinks whenever they try to act like Tina Fey isn't actually pretty hot.
4. Finish your beer whenever Tracey makes complete and total sense.
How I Met Your Mother1. Drink whenever Bob Saget’s voiceover says “Kids...”
2. Drink whenever Lily and Marshall are sickeningly cute.
3. Drink whenever Ted says something douchey and pretentious.
4. Drink whenever they drink.
5. Finish your beer if Alan Thicke appears.
Two and a Half Men
1. Drink whenever you want to change the channel.*
2. Drink whenever you can guess the punchline before the characters get to it.
3. Two drinks whenever you get angry about Jon Cryer actually winning an Emmy for this dreck.
*Warning: You will end up completely plastered.
Sounds like a blast, right? You pick up the beer; I'll program the TiVo. Cheers!
Wednesday, November 17, 2010
Mythbusters vs Top Gear
Tuesday, November 16, 2010
after school snack
i love snacks.
one of my favorite artists also loves snacks. in fact, when he (andrew bird) sings about the end of the world (i think thats what that song is about) he says, "there will be snacks, there will!" and that makes the end of the world ok. through my failsafeandrewbirdlogic you can see that snacks = awesome.
but the older i get, the more i'm having some problems with snacks. i know that my taste buds have become significantly more sophisticated, and that i understand much more about food now than i have in the past but none of these things helps me make sense of this problem.
problem:
there are some treats and eats that as an adult are not nearly as satisfying as they were when i was a kid.
examples:
american cheese melted on ritz crackers
hot pockets
taquitos
potato chips
pizza rolls
there are more examples, but these were some of my staples. one of my staples i want to take a moment and ponder is pizza rolls. Matt and Mikey are a little crazy about these little nuggets. every time they hang out for a while, they pick up a bag (or three) of pizza rolls and drink beer and soda and play video games. its really super cute. however, i just can't seem to reach that awesome spot that they still seem to hold onto.
really, the only snack i can think of that has not lost its magic for me is the almighty bagel bite.
they are pizza and a bagel and cheesey and yummy. in fact, they are still so magical for me that i still eat them the same way as i always have.
procedure: scrape off all the toppings. eat the bagel. eat the toppings. repeat a million times.
my parents and i used to go to Sam's Club for some of our grocery shopping and i would beg my parents to buy me the superHUGE box of bagel bites. then, each day after school i would sneak as many bagel bites as i could before my mom noticed. a good word for this is obsessed.
one of my favorite artists also loves snacks. in fact, when he (andrew bird) sings about the end of the world (i think thats what that song is about) he says, "there will be snacks, there will!" and that makes the end of the world ok. through my failsafeandrewbirdlogic you can see that snacks = awesome.
but the older i get, the more i'm having some problems with snacks. i know that my taste buds have become significantly more sophisticated, and that i understand much more about food now than i have in the past but none of these things helps me make sense of this problem.
problem:
there are some treats and eats that as an adult are not nearly as satisfying as they were when i was a kid.
examples:
american cheese melted on ritz crackers
hot pockets
taquitos
potato chips
pizza rolls
there are more examples, but these were some of my staples. one of my staples i want to take a moment and ponder is pizza rolls. Matt and Mikey are a little crazy about these little nuggets. every time they hang out for a while, they pick up a bag (or three) of pizza rolls and drink beer and soda and play video games. its really super cute. however, i just can't seem to reach that awesome spot that they still seem to hold onto.really, the only snack i can think of that has not lost its magic for me is the almighty bagel bite.
OHMYGODTHEYARESOAWESOME!
procedure: scrape off all the toppings. eat the bagel. eat the toppings. repeat a million times.
my parents and i used to go to Sam's Club for some of our grocery shopping and i would beg my parents to buy me the superHUGE box of bagel bites. then, each day after school i would sneak as many bagel bites as i could before my mom noticed. a good word for this is obsessed.
Monday, November 15, 2010
Another Monday Routine
Today will be a short post because I have an exam for which to study. But I'm going to cram this blog full of links. Last week I told you about my proclivity for reading in place of... anything else on Monday mornings. Today I will again offer up those things holding my interest.
- The first bullet has multiple links all spawning from one source. Unpublished photos of cave drawings in Lascaux from the late 1940's. At upwards of 18,000 years old, these drawings are pretty fascinating. The same photographer covered all sorts of crazy stuff: the liberation of Paris; the day of Einstein's death; Apollo 11; Babe Ruth's last days on the diamond. He has lived through and photographed some amazing things, and I'm jealous. But history will be made in my days, too; I just probably won't be as close to it as he was.
- Stone megaliths were uncovered in 1994, and some archeologists consider it to be the most important dig site...ever. The title is a bit sensationalistic, but this is the oldest such site ever found, predating agriculture. This suggests we need to rethink our commonly held views about the life and culture of hunter-gatherers.
- The head of British forces says victory over al-Qaeda is impossible. It's a very level-headed perspective, and at least makes sense through a historical lens.
- A piece by Roger Ebert (my favorite!) about Wall Street and the mortgage business. The article speaks for itself, but now I really want to watch Inside Job.
- Dark energy might have been stronger in the past.
- This is old in internet terms, meaning I've seen before sometime in the past, but it's just a little graph to give some perspective.
- Lastly, for the ladies: you may have read recently that demand for chocolate may exceed supply within our lifetimes... But there is hope! The chocolate genome may save the day.
I hope you find some of these things as interesting as I do. If not, OH WELL. You came here and THIS IS WHAT YOU GET SO DEAL. And now I'm off to study....UPDATE: This is amazing; read it. Guano Islands Act
Friday, November 12, 2010
Five Things That Need To Make A Comeback
There is nothing more awesome than a comeback story. Ok, well maybe TT.TKO is pretty friggin’ awesome, except for that lame-o Mattie. I have searched the whole entire world for the five things that are due for a comeback. HEY! DON’T QUESTION MY LOGIC!!!! IT IS FLAWLESS! You can tell I am serious by the use of capslock.
1. 80’s Music
Holy crap I love me some 80’s music. Pat Benatar “WE WILL BE INVINCIBLE!!!” may just be the sexiest thing ever. I’ll just give you bands that share their names with places to prove my point: Asia, Berlin, Europe, Big Country, Boston, A Flock of Seagulls… this list could be endless.
2. Cartoons
If there is something that I loved more than 80’s music, other than my own sweet ass, it would have to be cartoons. I believe as a child I was really lucky to grow up in a world of TMNT, Doug, Rugrats, Ahhh! Real Monsters and Hey! Arnold. I feel for the kids of today with their Yu-Gi-Oh and Sponge Bob. WHERE ARE YOUR TALKING BABIES!?!? NO THE E*Trade BABY DOES NOT COUNT!!!
3. Trilogies
Star Wars! What? They made three more movies? What the fuck is a JAR JAR? You had me at Natalie Portman. She fucking dies?! BULL SHIT! Ok, so the first Star Wars Trilogy, Back to the Future and The Lord of the Rings are amazing, but trilogies have been falling off as of late. Pirates of the Caribbean and The Matrix are anchored by their first movie and seem to say “fuck it” after that. I WANT MORE MICHAEL J. FOX! I can see him as a werewolf playing basketball? TOP THAT, TWILIGHT!
4. Tom Selleck
First let me say that this is only Tom Selleck with a mustache. Not that baby-faced imposter who showed up for a year or so. Seriously, ladies, how do you have sex with other men knowing Tom Selleck is out there? He is the only man on the planet who can legitimately have the nickname Magnum. Bring back the 'stache!
5. Point Break
Uh, where do I fucking start? Oscar-winning director Kathryn Bigelow (The Hurt Locker) blows up your mind in this orgasmic action movie. I wish I could have been sitting at the pitch meeting for this. Hey, I got this movie with guys who dress up like former presidents then rob banks and in their spare time they go surfing and skydiving. Can we get Busey? YES! GARY “I would probably eat my own young one day if I only knew how to get this toaster pregnant” BUSEY, Patrick Swayze and The One all make this movie ah-fucking-mazing.
Boosh, five things that need to make a come back. Now get to work. Someone call Busey. I need a lady to call Mr. Selleck. I will work on the cartoons.
1. 80’s Music Holy crap I love me some 80’s music. Pat Benatar “WE WILL BE INVINCIBLE!!!” may just be the sexiest thing ever. I’ll just give you bands that share their names with places to prove my point: Asia, Berlin, Europe, Big Country, Boston, A Flock of Seagulls… this list could be endless.
2. Cartoons
If there is something that I loved more than 80’s music, other than my own sweet ass, it would have to be cartoons. I believe as a child I was really lucky to grow up in a world of TMNT, Doug, Rugrats, Ahhh! Real Monsters and Hey! Arnold. I feel for the kids of today with their Yu-Gi-Oh and Sponge Bob. WHERE ARE YOUR TALKING BABIES!?!? NO THE E*Trade BABY DOES NOT COUNT!!!
3. TrilogiesStar Wars! What? They made three more movies? What the fuck is a JAR JAR? You had me at Natalie Portman. She fucking dies?! BULL SHIT! Ok, so the first Star Wars Trilogy, Back to the Future and The Lord of the Rings are amazing, but trilogies have been falling off as of late. Pirates of the Caribbean and The Matrix are anchored by their first movie and seem to say “fuck it” after that. I WANT MORE MICHAEL J. FOX! I can see him as a werewolf playing basketball? TOP THAT, TWILIGHT!
4. Tom SelleckFirst let me say that this is only Tom Selleck with a mustache. Not that baby-faced imposter who showed up for a year or so. Seriously, ladies, how do you have sex with other men knowing Tom Selleck is out there? He is the only man on the planet who can legitimately have the nickname Magnum. Bring back the 'stache!
5. Point BreakUh, where do I fucking start? Oscar-winning director Kathryn Bigelow (The Hurt Locker) blows up your mind in this orgasmic action movie. I wish I could have been sitting at the pitch meeting for this. Hey, I got this movie with guys who dress up like former presidents then rob banks and in their spare time they go surfing and skydiving. Can we get Busey? YES! GARY “I would probably eat my own young one day if I only knew how to get this toaster pregnant” BUSEY, Patrick Swayze and The One all make this movie ah-fucking-mazing.
Boosh, five things that need to make a come back. Now get to work. Someone call Busey. I need a lady to call Mr. Selleck. I will work on the cartoons.
Thursday, November 11, 2010
I Just Can't Get You Out Of My Head
You know how it can be kind of annoying when you get a song in your head and just can’t get it out? How about when having that song in your head means you’ll be replaying entire episodes of classic TV shows in your mind for days on end?
Okay, there are worse fates. But isn't it funny how, years and years later, these songs and their lyrics stick with us like the state capitals or the elements of the Periodic Table never really could?
For some reason it's alarmingly hard to find videos of the actual intros to some of these shows on YouTube. Apparently watching theme songs for nostalgia purposes is damaging to a given media conglomerate's bottom line and must be stamped out with haste. In any case, here's a sampling of the theme songs I'll never, ever forget:
1. The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air
This song is an instant classic.Who can't identify with the Fresh Prince? There were guys who were up to no good making trouble in my neighborhood, too.
It helps that Bel Air-ing is my favorite internet meme since the Rickroll came on the scene. I guess I prefer my memes laden with cheesy 80’s pop, but if that's wrong, I don't want to be right.
2. Saved By The Bell
Saved By The Bell was my absolute favorite throughout childhood (and let's face it, my favorite on those early high school mornings, too). My first crush that wasn't on Dale from Rescue Rangers was on Zack Morris. I dressed as Kelly Kapowski for Halloween two years ago. But this song and its 80's-tastic intro probably ranks as the most memorable thing about the show to me.
Incidentally, if you want to listen to Mikey and Mattie yell at each other about whether Saved By The Bell or Fresh Prince is the best, we've got you covered.
3. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles
Yum, pizza. And Michaelangelo is best BTW.
4. Doug
Not be confused with the later version, after Doug moved to Disney and everyone started looking kind of funny and Patti Mayonnaise became tanorexic. Apparently any and all videos of the real Doug theme have been tragically stricken from YouTube. This is probably for the same reason that Doug is one of the only NickToons Netflix doesn't carry, and thus life is a cruel joke.
While we're specifically only discussing theme songs, I do want to give a shout out to such classic Doug tunes as "I Need Mo' Allowance," by the Beets, and "Bangin' On A Trash Can," by Doug, et al. They're on my iPod (for jamming purposes) and should probably be on yours, too.
5. Duck Tales
The Duck Tales theme is probably my favorite of the bunch, and I've been known to have frequent Duck Tales Dance Parties in my car. But who can resist that catchy melody? The "quack quack quack quack"? The "woo oo"? I defy you to listen to this song without at least humming along, if not totally rocking out.
I mean, come on. After all, life is like a hurricane.
Okay, there are worse fates. But isn't it funny how, years and years later, these songs and their lyrics stick with us like the state capitals or the elements of the Periodic Table never really could?
For some reason it's alarmingly hard to find videos of the actual intros to some of these shows on YouTube. Apparently watching theme songs for nostalgia purposes is damaging to a given media conglomerate's bottom line and must be stamped out with haste. In any case, here's a sampling of the theme songs I'll never, ever forget:
1. The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air
This song is an instant classic.Who can't identify with the Fresh Prince? There were guys who were up to no good making trouble in my neighborhood, too.
It helps that Bel Air-ing is my favorite internet meme since the Rickroll came on the scene. I guess I prefer my memes laden with cheesy 80’s pop, but if that's wrong, I don't want to be right.
2. Saved By The Bell
Saved By The Bell was my absolute favorite throughout childhood (and let's face it, my favorite on those early high school mornings, too). My first crush that wasn't on Dale from Rescue Rangers was on Zack Morris. I dressed as Kelly Kapowski for Halloween two years ago. But this song and its 80's-tastic intro probably ranks as the most memorable thing about the show to me.
Incidentally, if you want to listen to Mikey and Mattie yell at each other about whether Saved By The Bell or Fresh Prince is the best, we've got you covered.
3. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles
Yum, pizza. And Michaelangelo is best BTW.
4. Doug
Not be confused with the later version, after Doug moved to Disney and everyone started looking kind of funny and Patti Mayonnaise became tanorexic. Apparently any and all videos of the real Doug theme have been tragically stricken from YouTube. This is probably for the same reason that Doug is one of the only NickToons Netflix doesn't carry, and thus life is a cruel joke.
While we're specifically only discussing theme songs, I do want to give a shout out to such classic Doug tunes as "I Need Mo' Allowance," by the Beets, and "Bangin' On A Trash Can," by Doug, et al. They're on my iPod (for jamming purposes) and should probably be on yours, too.
5. Duck Tales
The Duck Tales theme is probably my favorite of the bunch, and I've been known to have frequent Duck Tales Dance Parties in my car. But who can resist that catchy melody? The "quack quack quack quack"? The "woo oo"? I defy you to listen to this song without at least humming along, if not totally rocking out.
I mean, come on. After all, life is like a hurricane.
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