I have a love-hate relationship with food.
Like many people, I'm carrying around a few more pounds than I'd like, the result of lazy cooking and an unchecked love of really good beer. I'm making a renewed effort to eat healthier right now-- today I even started a food diary, in hopes that I'll be more accountable for what I eat if I have to cop to it later. (Nobody wants to have to type the words, "Dear Diary, today I ate an entire pint of Phish Food.") But it's boring. Cheerios... grapes... a Lean Cuisine. Nothing mouthwatering or even kind of delicious.
So that's why I've spent the past 30 minutes poring over the last meals of 301 Texas death row inmates. It's junk food porn. I've never seen so much deep fried, cheesy, bacony goodness together in my life! (Outside of KFC's Double-Down, of course, or maybe This Is Why You're Fat.)
Most of the requests consist of copious amounts of fried chicken, double cheeseburgers, steaks, tacos, sodas. Enough cake and ice cream to cater a hundred six-year-olds' birthday parties. Nobody got fancy and asked for escargot or Cornish game hen, but then, I suppose you'd lose any traces of pretension when facing death.
Of course, there are a few peculiar requests rounding out the list. One inmate asked for a bag of assorted Jolly Ranchers and nothing else. Not very filling, though I guess it doesn't matter at this point. Another wanted a "fresh lettuce and cucumber salad with light vinegar salad dressing on the side." Interesting time to be watching your figure. And another simply asked for a pot of coffee. I guess he wanted to make sure he was wide awake during the proceedings.
So what would my last meal request be? Not a Lean Cuisine, that's for sure. Maybe black olive and Italian sausage pizza. Kroger brand macaroni and cheese. A couple dozen shrimp, and hey, why not go nuts and toss a few sea scallops in there as well. Ooh, and a Chick Fil A chicken biscuit (let's hope my execution is before 10:30 a.m. because a chicken sandwich isn't going to cut it). And a pack of Reese's Peanut Butter Eggs (no other holiday Reese's products will suffice). And Diet Coke. There will be Diet Coke.
