The current US Attorney General, Eric Holder, has had just about enough. His favorite show is no longer on the air, you see, and he can't abide a world without The Wire. Well, rather, he thinks the show had a great anti-drug message and he'd like to see more of it. So of course he's implored the creators to keep creating-- "I want another season or I want a movie. I have a lot of power, Mr. Burns and Mr. Simon," he said.
Well, shit. Is it that easy? Just enlist someone in a position of power to bring back from the dead your erstwhile favorite television show? Could a Supreme Court Justice court Mitch Hurtwitz to hurry up with that Arrested Development movie already? Could Bono get me another season of Veronica Mars? Could Nathan Fillion champion bringing back Firefly? (Oh, wait.)
I'm not holding my breath. There doesn't seem to be much hope of getting great shows back on the air when we can't get terrible ones off it, like this man who threatened to blow up his local TV station if they didn't cool it with the incessant reruns of Two And A Half Men. I hear ya, buddy, but your brand of crazy doesn't help the cause.
Alas, we'll probably just have to accept that The Wire's dead and gone, the Arrested Development movie may never happen and Nathan's never, ever going to buy the rights to Firefly. But I have hope that one day we'll live in a nation where Two And A Half Men only airs once each weekday instead of 'round the clock.
Instead of writing lately, I’ve been doing a lot of reading—and watching, and listening, et cetera et cetera et cetera. It’s a big internet out there, kids, and there’s lots to do. Here are some things that have piqued my interest of late.
The Life In A Day Trailer
Is your heart warmed? Mine is (a little). I’m unsure how this kind of footage could sustain more than an aww-inducing trailer, but we’ll see.
My long-standing crush on Brian Williams is well known and never-ending. In January, on a tour of the NBC studios in New York, I even got to sit in his chair (he was not, unfortunately, also in said chair). This article makes me love him even more. If you aren’t familiar with B Dub’s comedy, I’m not sure where you’ve been for the past few years—the smirky anchor has hosted SNL and made numerous appearances on the likes of 30 Rock and Late Night with Jimmy Fallon. Slow Jammin’ the News? That’s my jam.
Paul F. Tompkins American Idol Recaps
Do you watch American Idol? Of course you don’t, because it hasn’t been topical or culturally relevant in years. If you do watch it, surely you do so in a haze of boozy intoxication as you play the Official TT.TKO American Idol Drinking Game. In any case, Paul F. Tompkins has been saddled with the sad obligation of watching this season’s American Idol, so you don’t have to. His recaps on New York Magazine’s entertainment site, Vulture, are much more thrilling than actually sitting through the show, and you can drink while you read them just as easily.
The New Harry Potter & the Deathly Hallows, Part II Trailer
Go ahead and watch it. I’ll wait. Did you just get chills? I kind of can’t remember much about the latter half of the seventh book—it’s long, and I’ve only read it twice. But I will definitely be in line for the midnight show on July 15th—possibly wearing my Hufflepuff tie (don’t hate)—for this last installment.
Eventually the internet and TV will merge into one sentient being, but for now they just link up every so often to make me happy. Last week’s Parks and Recreation featured the inimitable Ron Swanson (Nick Offerman) describing his idea of a turkey burger—a fried turkey leg inside a grilled hamburger patty, which sounds impossible but was no match for the internet, who made it a reality. Well, Eater.com did, specifically. The episode also featured a segment of Tom Haverford (Aziz Ansari) detailing his numerous and varied nicknames for foods, which now exists in convenient website form. You can even submit your own! My favorite may be “butter boats.”
Lastly, I’d like to add that the pinnacle of my existence (aside from an epic kickball win last weekend) came recently in the form of a trivia question that allowed me to utilize my knowledge of the names of both actors who played Darren Stevens on TV’s Bewitched (Dicks York and Sargeant, if you were, like the other unsuspecting trivia teams, unsure). Now you see, hard work does pay off.
I'm not holding my breath. There doesn't seem to be much hope of getting great shows back on the air when we can't get terrible ones off it, like this man who threatened to blow up his local TV station if they didn't cool it with the incessant reruns of Two And A Half Men. I hear ya, buddy, but your brand of crazy doesn't help the cause. 
