The Same Thing We Do Every Night, Pinky.

Apparently there was some sort of football game last night. I am not here to talk about the Super Bawwwww but I am going to talk football. Bear with me, though, it is not what you think. Some of you may not know that the NFL over the last couple of years has been experimenting with regular season games in London. Apparently the steady growth in America is not enough for the No Fun League. Most of the core fans are Americans living in Europe, but the big bad commissioner has been optimistic about the results of the handful of games that have been held in London. The talks now are about expanding these games across Europe.


I am here to make a prediction. The NFL will be as popular in Europe as the English Premier League (Big Time English “Soccer” League) is in America, if they are really lucky. Both leagues suffer from the lack of fan allegiance to teams. If you are looking to get into the NFL, the first step you take is to pick a team. Where do you start? Now, I know some of the ladies out there will just pick the cutest/hottest/McDreamiest quarterback and go from there, but the rest of us tend to pick the nearest major city with a team and, boom--instant fan. Clearly, the average Londoner won’t have that same luxury.


Basketball and baseball have started achieving solid international success, and we all know soccer is the world’s game. Why can’t football be the same? I blame it on the kids. For a kid to get the core idea of basketball or soccer, you just need to put them on a field/court and give them a ball. I believe baseball is a bit more complicated than the other two, but Little League has done a great job of getting to the kids!


American football is not a simple game for people to understand just by watching a game or two. With the introduction to the replay system, it has shown how even the experts don’t know everything that goes on. Here's the deal, Commish: if you want to continue with this plan of world domination, you need to take my advice and infiltrate the minds of kids and find a way to get these fans to have a real team to cheer for.

SUPABOWWW Preview

As I'm sure you're all aware, one of the greatest days of the sports year is quite nearly upon us: THE SUPABOWWWW. Is it Rodgers' time to shine, or will Big Ben continue to carve his legacy?



Some of you may recall that I have picked the Packers to win, but let's take a closer look. This is Pittsburgh's third Superbowl appearance in seven years; they're 2-0 in the big game in those years, and 10-2 in the post-season overall. They definitely have the experience as a team, but also have Roethlisberger himself. Experienced leadership can definitely make a difference.

It's also worth noting that in those seven seasons, Roethlisberger has 25 game-winning drives and 19 fourth-quarter comebacks; Rodgers only has 5 game-winning drives and 3 fourth-quarter comebacks across three seasons. Obviously Roethlisberger has more seasons behind him, but it's clear that the season averages there don't match up.

That said, Rodgers has been playing out of his mind. In the three post-season games for the Packers this year, here are his stats: 70.9% completion rate, 790 yards, 6 TDs, 2 INTs, average QB rating of 109.2. Roethlisberger has only played two post-season games this year, but there is a clear statistical difference: 56.8% completion rate, 359 yards, 2 TDs, 2 INTs, average QB rating of just 75.5. It's also clear that the Pack have momentum on their side, having won five consecutive elimination games-- they had to win their last two games in the regular season to make the play-offs. Not only that, but they have beaten three very hot teams on the road to get here: the Eagles, the Falcons, and the Bears (who I would contend are the weakest of the three, but they still played well). The Steelers, on the other hand, beat two weak teams to finish the regular season (Carolina and Cleveland) to then face, at home, a good Baltimore team and an inconsistent and overrated (in my opinion) Jets team. The Packers had the harder road to travel, and have shown their grit.

A few last offensive considerations: the Packers have a more explosive offense when they can run the ball, and I think they have a stronger offensive line. But the Steelers have a much more consistent running game, and this opens a lot of options for them. Rodgers loves playing indoors, and I think he has the advantage here. Packers have two deep-ball threats: Greg Jennings and Donald Driver. Steelers only have one: Hines Ward. They both have good tight ends in Heath Miller and Andrew Quarless, but I'm not sure how effective either will be going against great linebackers on both teams.

So... speaking of defense. The Steelers are well-known for their staunch defense, particularly against the run, what with Troy Polamalu and James Harrison. The problem is that these two defenses look fairly similar, as well they ought: Dom Capers and Dick LeBeau, the Green Bay and Pittsburgh defensive coordinators, worked together in Pittsburgh in the early '90s when Bill Cowher became head coach. They both run 3-4 defenses with complicated blitz packages, and both teams have the personnel to pull it off. That said, the Pack favors zone and struggle with man-to-man. In terms of defending the big play, I think the Pack wins out with cornerbacks Charles Woodson and Tramon Williams. Williams already has three interceptions this post-season, one returned for a TD. Overall, the Packers' turnover differential is +3, whereas the Steelers are even at 0.

So what needs to happen:

...for Green Bay to win?
Two things: They must force turnovers and get to Roethlisberger early and often. Keep Big Ben off the field, and keep Rodgers in command on the field; you don't want to face Roethlisberger in the fourth quarter. Get on top early and be relentless in the pass rush, but keep an eye out for the run.

...for Pittsburgh to win?
Remember when I said that Green Bay favors zone? Find the seams and exploit them. Force them to play man-to-man, find the match-up you want, then go over their heads. Beware the blitz though: get rid of the ball quickly early on, make them play back a little, and don't give up on the run (which is not a likely scenario, anyway). Score early and keep Rodgers off the field. He's less dominant in the fourth quarter, but the Jets nearly came back in the championship game, and the Packers are certainly more capable than the Jets.

Summary:

With Polamalu at less-than-full health, James Starks will make sure the ground attack is respected, opening the playbook for Green Bay. In the post-season, Green Bay has more plays of 20+ yards than any team, and this trend will continue. The defense will help by securing turnovers. Rodgers will lead the Pack to a 23-20 victory by being fast and effective on offense, scoring early against a tough defense.

Flying Jai?

If you listened to our most recent podcast, you'll know that Mikey, Jack, and I made predictions for the SuperBowl. We all picked Atlanta for the NFC.... WHOOPS! I picked the Pats for the AFC, and I cannot believe they got trumped by the Jets. Jack picked the Jets to make the SB, and Mikey picked the Steelers -- or at least he picked the winner of the Pittsburgh-Baltimore game (these predictions were made pre-divisional round). So I was entirely wrong as of last weekend; Mikey and Jack were half-right coming into this weekend. But only Mikey correctly predicted one of the SB teams. So he wins one Internet. My post-divisional-round predictions were Packers and Steelers, so that brings my prediction total to 68-38, bringing me up to .559. The only thing left to do is make a SB prediction.....READ IT HERE FIRST: I AM PREDICTING THE PACKERS TO WIN THE SUPERBOWL.

But now there is a question. What happens with my blogs now that football is ending? This question lead to an interesting (LOL, NOPE) Twitter conversation amongst the TT.TKO writers, and I have posted it here. If you can't figure out who's who, then YIKES. (Read from the bottom up)



So.... HERE'S IS YOUR WEEKLY JAI ALAI BLOG. First, I should tell you what it is. I will be forthright and inform you that the only reason I know about this sport is because of an episode of Jackass I saw, like, 10 years ago (or whenever it was that Jackass was on television and still culturally relevant [SICK BURN]). If you're familiar with racquetball or squash, then, well... it's kind of like that. Only faster (on average). Jai alai is a form of Basque pelota, which "is the name for a variety of court sports played with a ball using one's hand, a racket, a wooden bat or a basket, against a wall or, more traditionally, with two teams face to face separated by a line on the ground or a net. Their roots can be traced to the Greek and other ancient cultures, but in Europe they all derive from tennis."

The "racket," more properly a basket kind of contraption, used in jai alai is called a cesta. The rules are not complicated, but it's more than I want to write up. The basic idea is this: one dude hurls a ball (made of metal and wrapped in goatskin) at the wall, and the idea is that the teams alternate catching the ball in the cesta and then throwing it without holding or juggling.... and all in one motion. Points are scored subject to certain constraints on the court and with the players (YOU CAN READ, I LINKED IT UP ABOVE).

To give you an idea of how this game is played:


SO NOW THAT WE ALL KNOW WHAT IT IS, next week you can expect some more sexy jai alai information.

And just remember Amy, you brought this upon yourself.

PLAYOFFS!?

So the NFL playoffs this week have been terrible for me. My picks: Ravens, Falcons, Bears, Pats.

If you watched the games this weekend, you'll notice that only one of my picks, the Bears, won. The Ravens-Steelers game was at least fun to watch. The Bears won, predictably. The Jets-Pats game was okay, but it's hard to really be interested in some games. This was one I didn't care much about either way. One thing I will say: I don't particularly like the Jets. I don't particularly care for their brash attitude. I don't like that they backed into the playoffs. I especially don't like their attitude considering they only squeaked by the Colts -- a team that has been banged up all year -- last week. But I also don't really like the Pats.

The Falcons-Packers game was awful. The Falcons played miserably; how does a team do such an about face? They have played well all season long, and they get trounced. Part of me wonders if the bye week worked against them. I've heard players talk about how bye weeks can sometimes kill momentum. Ultimately, though, I'm not convinced it would have made much difference. The Packers simply out-played the Falcons in every way, but especially offensively. The Falcon defense seemed helpless.

Overall, this brings my record to 66-38.



In other news, Virginia and I watched the games on Saturday with some friends. (YES WE HAVE THEM.) Eventually, we wound up back at our place watching Saturday Night Live. Hosted by Gwyneth Paltrow. Musical guest Cee-Lo. This was the first time in a while that I had watched SNL. Holy shit, what barf it was. Cee-Lo was excellent, I should say, but everything was yuck yuck barf yuck (aside from a digital short with Andy Samberg and Pee-Wee Herman [and Anderson Cooper]...). Has SNL always been bad and I just didn't notice it when I was younger because my taste in television was less sophisticated? Somehow I doubt it, but maybe yes? In any case, Gwyneth Paltrow was really pretty terrible. There is a pop culture aggregation site that I frequent, the writer for which has long held that Gwyneth Paltrow is the worst. I am starting to believe.

In other news, my classes start back on Tuesday. Thankfully, I don't think I'm working in the tutoring center. This semester I'm TAing for an upper-level majors course, so it'll mostly be grading I suspect. So... perhaps no more Monday Morning Rants? We'll see. OR MAYBE I'LL JUST COMPLAIN ABOUT ALL THE OTHER BAD THINGS IN MY LIFE. Good reading, right? Right. Awesome.

Future Me

I HAVE FOUND FUTURE ME



MAYBE I'LL COME DOWN.... MAYBE I WON'T.

On a different note: earlier today I found the greatest list of possible misconceptions. Of what I've read, I knew a handful. But I'm still reading. Lists like this just really make my day better, though. In particular, the flat earth myth is interesting to me, since I was definitely taught that this was a prevailing attitude in the Middle Ages.

Lastly: I was only 50% on my NFL wildcard predictions. I picked both the Saints and Colts to win, and of course neither did. I very seriously considered picking a Seahawks upset, but talked myself out of it. I'm not quite sure how I feel about a losing team not only being in the play-offs, but beating the defending champs... I mean, as a Falcons fan, I like that the Saints lost, but still. Should the play-off system be re-worked? Do losing teams really deserve a chance in the post-season? Perhaps the Seahawks can sway my opinion, but right now I'm undecided.

Morning Sickness

I've been sick all morning. Pretty sure it has something to do with the previous post. LOOK WHAT YOU'VE DONE, NATALIE. The manifestation of my illness determines how I intend to conquer it, which is sort of DUH. Today is a little "stomach virus"; this of course is a catch-all, and not in anyway diagnostic. Typically I just try to wait these out. No food, no water until I get a feeling that it's really made its way out.

I've been awake since 8am and it's now close to 1pm, and I still feel shitty.

Ugh

Week 16 in the NFL was the worst for my predictions: I went 8-8. Yesterday was better at 10-6. My little experiment started on week 12, and my overall record over those 6 weeks is 63-33, which is not too bad. Maybe next season I'll finally take the plunge into fantasy football...

Anyway, that's all I have for today. Blech

Finals Week

This week is finals week. So thousands of students around campus are like behaving total fucktards in preparation. Last minute cramming abounds, and it's a worthless technique.

This technique is more understandable during finals week, that I will grant. But the students in the class I TA seem to think it's TOTALLY AWESOME ALL THE TIME. I anticipate seeing students pretty much non-stop for 7 hours today, because their exam is tomorrow. Again, finals week is okay for that, in my mind.

But I get very annoyed with "my" students. They have a retarded sense of entitlement, like if they don't understand something, that it's not worth doing and someone should just tell them how to do it without producing a single individual thought on the matter. They don't understand that if the only time you put in work is the night before the test, you won't do well. They don't have any homework (it's a class of 300 people, so homework would be unfeasible), and so they think there's no incentive for actually.... trying to understand the material. I don't get it. I DON'T GET IT. WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?

Then, when I make them do work during tutoring, they get frustrated with the professor, as if it's somehow his fault they don't understand. Granted, professors should get some blame for students not understanding, but I will side with the professor every time when students (frequently) tell me they don't go to class and don't do the work.

The other thing is that these students have MEMORIES LIKE GOLDFISH. For example, there is a mathematical quantity called expected gain, and these kids have been calculating expected gain since WEEK ONE of this fucking class. I will, without a damn doubt, go to tutoring today and have to re-explain expected gain AGAIN.
Out of all the students I tutor with any frequency (and by "frequency" I mean once a month around exam time), maybe three of them can calculate expected gain without help. Maybe. They have been figuring out this expected gain thing literally all semester long. How is it that you can do something hundreds of times over and not remember how to do it??? The answer: they're not really learning how to do it. It's not a deep concept, by any means, and they can't even be bothered to remember what it is, let alone learning what it is.

Anyway.

I also wanted to talk about football, but I'll be brief. You may remember that I've been making predictions on games the past weeks. Last week I went 13-3. So far this week I am 9-5, YIKES. There are still two games today (Holy cow, Metrodome!), so hopefully I'll hit double digit "wins."

But out of my 5 "losses," two of them are head scratchers in my opinion. (1) What the fuck happened to the Jets? They got humiliated on Monday Night Football, and I really thought they'd come out (at home, mind you!) fired up to bounce back from that. Nope. Instead they played a goddamn miserable game against the Dolphins. (2) Really Seahawks? I know you're not a great team. Hell, you're not really that good of a team. But the 49ers? They have been pretty awful lately, and you guys got trounced! Ugh.

Short Post Monday

Today is Monday, and it's 5:23pm, and I haven't yet posted a blog. This means one of two things:

1. I've been busy.
2. I forgot.

Believe it or not, today has actually been a result of number 1. Admittedly, I'm a pretty forgetful person (YEP, MR. DUMBIDIOTFORGETSALOT IS WORKING ON HIS PHD LIKE A DUMB IDIOT WHO FORGETS A LOT.) But anyone else who is still in school knows that right now is crunch time. So today I just have a few things to offer.

• This is a prominence that is approximately 700,000 km across...
  
  
• Something I haven't mentioned here, but probably will bring up through the rest of the NFL season: a couple weeks ago I started predicting winners for all the games that week and tracking my record. Two weeks ago I was 12-4 (meaning I correctly predicted 12 winners, and incorrectly predicted 4 DUH DUH DUH). Last week I was 9-7. So far this week I am 12-3, and I'm calling the Pats to beat the Jets at home. More than anything I just hope it's a good game; I love rivalries. Here is the summary of my feelings for this week:
  
  Falcons :D
  Colts :C
  Saints >:C
  Raiders :|
  Steelers :/
  Jags :0
  
  
• And I just want to end by saying that this is how my schoolwork is making me feel (like the little kid in case DERP HERP DERP):