Coming Soon

Out of all the aspects of the movie-going experience-- the anticipation of seeing a good film, the delicious Sour Patch Kids, the beer (what, your theater of choice doesn’t serve beer?)-- my favorite by far is the previews.

Maybe it’s the tradition of trailers leading up to a movie, despite the fact that they used to actually follow the showing (hence “trailers,” obviously). Maybe it’s because the stupid in-house pre-show trivia that wants to tell me over and over again that Tobey Maguire and Leonardo DiCaprio are BFFs (as if I didn’t know) is finally over. Maybe it's just the build-up of anticipation before the big show begins. Whatever the reason, I love them.

I saw Harry Potter this weekend-- twice, actually (go ahead: call me a nerd; I embrace it). I saw it both times at the same theater, and so of course, sat through the same five previews. And oh, man. What disappointments they were. Let’s review:

The Eagle:
Not a strong start, Coming Attractions. I’d never heard of this movie, which appears to be about Roman soldiers and their slaves and rivers and the colors of the wind or something. I zoned out about 30 seconds in, because you know if Channing Tatum is in something, it’s not really necessary to pay attention (I mean, I know, Step Up 2: The Streets was pretty hard to follow, but I think you can keep up with this one).

I’m not a huge fan of historical battle movies or heartbeat effects in trailers or Donald “Crazy Eyes” Sutherland, so I only perked up for the split-second that I thought Jamie Bell was actually James McAvoy, then slipped back into my state of not-paying-attention.

Cowboys & Aliens:
Okay, I kind of get the appeal. Genre movies are hot right now, for one thing, and this combines two genres. And Han Solo is in it, though he looks more like Indy and thus less awesome. And James Bond, but whatever, I’ve never seen a Bond movie. In any case, I sort of get it.

But the preview is just this kind of bewildering, meandering thing. And it makes me fear that the film itself will feature little more than the titular groups shooting at each other and also, are you kidding me? Aliens have spaceships and laser guns. Why is this not just called Cowboys & The Aliens Who Handily Kill Off All The Cowboys Before Wiping Out Earth’s Civilization In Time For Afternoon Tea? The cowboys don’t stand a chance. Even if Han does shoot first.

Yogi Bear:
Justin Timberlake can do no wrong—or can he? I have a strong aversion to cartoon characters in live action settings (Space Jam, you ruined it for all of us), so I would skip this no matter who voiced the bears. Honestly, is it really necessary to make a film so freaking creepy? Is it just cheaper to make a partially animated feature rather than a full-length one? I mean, the level of creepiness doesn’t come close to that Smiling Dogs commercial, but seriously. Go all or nothing-- either make an entirely animated Yogi Bear movie, or film real-life Grizzlies snacking on PB&Js while water-skiing. Geez. I’m not asking for much.

Red Riding Hood:
They lost me at “By the director of Twilight.’” Although maybe that’s a selling point, after all-- the first Twilight movie was chock full of unintentional hilarity. I even really like Amanda Seyfried, but I just don’t think she’s enough to make me want to see what appears to be a film version of the game Are You A Werewolf that takes itself entirely too seriously.

In any case, expect a full line of Hot Topic accessories to accompany this one’s release. It’s not so bad; I was getting a little tired of vampires, anyway.

Green Lantern:
Okay, this I might see. But not because Ryan Reynolds is in it! Well. Not just because Ryan Reynolds is in it. I tend to dig comic book movies in spite of never having read comic books, and although I couldn’t pick the Green Lantern out of a line-up of other green things (Goblin? Hornet? Giant? They all look the same to me. Is that racist?), I think of all the movies I received sneak peeks of this weekend, this is the only one that might be worth my $8.50.

And that was that. Fortunately for me, these lackluster previews preceded an excellent movie. Besides, while I’ve never tried it, I doubt a theater manager would refund your ticket money because you complained that the previews sucked.

Although really. Having been forced to endure animated bears frolicking in live-action Jellystone with Tom Cavanaugh from Ed? It might have been worth asking.

Note: Sorry for the technical difficulties this week, guys! Please update your bookmarks to http://www.TTTKO.com. Love to you all and happy Thanksgiving!

Morning Routine - Reading

Once again we find ourselves awake (WHY GOD?) on Monday morning.

I work for the Mathematics and Science Resource Center, known colloquially as the MSRC, tutoring a Math for Truly Dumb Idiots course, which is usually called Mathematical Patterns. Perhaps I'm being mean. Actually, no, I'm being really mean, but this course is basically unending frustration for me.
I mention this because that's where I am now, the MSRC, as I type up this blog post. My first shift today is from 10am to 2pm. (Yes, I have another shift later. [But come on, 10am is a pretty sweet deal in the grand scheme; look at Mikey for example -- he works overnights {ANOTHER PARANTHETICAL COMMENT LOL}!]) It's only four hours, which is not long at all, but it's pretty much the embodiment of soul-crushing boredom (but at least I don't just stare at screens like Mik... Oh wait, what am I doing now?). Particularly so given that I have not once tutored anyone on a Monday morning, meaning that I could be sleeping in (my problems are REAL). Instead I'm stuck here -- I have to be here -- while my sanity is slowly drained from me.

But that's not what I want to talk about today, actually. (I could but you don't want me to LOLOL.) Today I want to talk about morning routines. But not really. Mostly I want to talk about how I'm not very good at being a student. But more so than that I want to talk about reading and how I like to do it. So let's talk about all those things (sort of)!

Monday mornings are tough for a lot of people, and I'm no exception. I wake up at 7:30, shower, dress, fix my lunch -- y'know, MORNING STUFF-- and I'm usually out the door by 8 or 8:15 or 8:30 depending on my proclivities for that morning. Rarely do I not have homework on Mondays, because I don't typically finish over the weekends. And every week I go through the same stupid cycle: I say to myself, in my headbrain, "I will go to the MSRC and I will do my homework. I will not be distracted by my computer and its delicious internet tubes. I WILL BE A GOOD STUDENT." Surely you have presumed that this is utterly false in every way, and your presumption is correct, also in every way. But every week, I saythink the same stupid, false things.

So what prevents me from working like a good, studious graduate student? Besides the simple fact that HOLY FUCK I DON'T KNOW HOW TO DO MY HOMEWORK AND GRADUATE SCHOOL IS OVERWHELMING AND I'M BEING ENGULFED IN DISCONTENT, I have a hard time breaking out of my reading habit. Now you may think, "Gosh, reading doesn't seem so bad," but you don't understand. I get sucked into things. I want to read everything. And I try. Rather than study or do my schoolwork, I'm busy trying to READ ALL THE THINGS. So I really want to talk about the stuff that's keeping my attention this morning. Between Twitter links, Facebook links, and the articles I tend to seek on my own, I have a good few things to offer this morning.

• Here's a piece on the fate of net neutrality in the wake of the mid-term elections. I find it amazing that people are not violently in favor of net neutrality (but I find lots of things amazing); freedom of information is something that we all take for granted pretty much all the time.
  
  
• Following SRS BSNS with more SRS BSNS: I follow Roger Ebert on Twitter, and he always links to his blogs, articles, and reviews. Here he has a couple videos concerning the West Memphis Three, and here is the Wikipedia article on them. [He also just posted a link to a video I saw just the other day: Richard Feynman on magnets.]
  
  
• And the last of the SRS BSNS today is an excellent essay about the Civil War, prescient given that this past Saturday, Nov. 6, was the 150th anniversary of Lincoln's (first) election as president. Thus we are approximately six months from the anniversary of the beginning of the Civil War. The last paragraph seems vitally relevant given the current political climate.
  
  
• With all that serious junk out of the way, we can finally (finally!) talk about football, or as Virginia and I have taken to calling it, foobaww. One article I always read on Monday mornings is Michael Silver's Morning Rush. I don't care about either the Raiders or the Chiefs, but I do love rivalries, and I especially love rivalries with history, so the Raiders and Chiefs both seemingly returning to relevance in the same year is actually pretty cool.
  
  
• Changing gears entirely, we have an article concerning the very super serious matter of Spider-Man's impact on the city of New York, an issue I have vaguely considered in past musings, though never to this (half-baked) extent. (Warning: it's pretty easy to get sucked into Cracked.)
  
  
• And for my last link, all I can say is Jesus Christ...
  

The truly sad thing is that this is definitely not everything I have seen or read this morning. Perhaps now you understand why I'm not such a good student? Sometimes I feel like an ADHD child chugging pure caffeine the way I peruse these tubes; in trying to absorb everything, I get absorbed into a horrible, unproductive shitspiral of reading and reading and reading and reading...

I only hope I'm not alone in this sort of thing.