If You Want To Sing Out

Going out to bars is a blast. But whether you're nursing a PBR or a pinot, don't you get a little bored sometimes? Don't you crave an activity with your beers and bar snacks?

You could play a little trivia. Pool, if you're good at that sort of thing, or darts, if you like throwing really sharp things at tiny targets like I do.

Or you could sing yourself some karaoke.

If there's anybody out there who doesn't at least kind of love karaoke, they're probably boring. It's a truly fantastic pastime. Just this last weekend I had the privilege of singing myself some karaoke, out at a bar for a much-needed girls' night. And as could be expected, we were all clearly fantastic at it. But not everyone else was.

There are a few clear karaoke fouls that get committed in bars, night after night, by overconfident or overindulgent amateurs across the country. The number one infraction comes before the singing even begins-- song choice.

Choosing a quality karaoke song is an art. You may think you're selecting wisely, only to bomb three notes in. It's happened to the best of us. What makes a good karaoke song, in my opinion? A handy rule of thumb: Think to yourself, "In spite of wanting to sing this song at karaoke, am I myself really sick of hearing it?" If the answer is yes, definitely don't sing that song. This may eliminate a good chunk of the songbook, but trust me, it's for the best.

As a corollary, can we as a human race agree that anything by Journey should be retired from karaoke bars the world over? Any takers? Scribble "Don't Stop Believin'" on that slip of paper at your own risk.

Me, I love to sing early Beatles-- the upbeat stuff. Cheesy '90s pop can be fun, but you've got to gauge your audience. I like throwing in a little Tom Petty or the odd Huey Lewis & The News-- I've got a soft stop for good old Huey, and particularly for "The Power Of Love." The point is, pick something everybody knows pretty well and yet still isn't tired of. The most fun moments at the karaoke bar can come when an entire roomful of drunks of all ages are singing along with you. You may want your moment to shine, but trust me, the sound of 50 bar patrons drowning out your amplified croak may not be such a bad thing.

Which brings me to another point. There are no A&R guys hanging out at the karaoke bar at one in the morning, looking for the next big star. You're not going to get signed a record deal at this dingy dive, and just because you think you can outsing Whitney, it doesn't mean we want to hear you try. This is not a lounge on the Lito deck of a cruise ship, and nobody likes a karaoke singer who takes themselves just a little bit too seriously. Take it down a notch.

Other tips? Take your hands out of your damn pockets and have a little stage presence. Get drunk-- but not too drunk. If it looks like there are two sets of lyrics on the screen, you may want to sit this one out. Don't try to eat the microphone-- we can hear you just fine.

And like I said. Cool it with the Journey.