Monday, April 26, 2010

Yes, this is a post about shoes.

I'm not sure what exactly changed, or when, but I feel like my whole perception of fashion as a whole has... matured recently, let's say. In the past, I very rarely cared about my clothing. This is not to say I left home looking disheveled or in disarray; I'm an adamant proponent of personal hygiene and cleanliness. But I didn't really know anything about fashion, I didn't really care, and I clung to the belief that people would either accept me or not, fashion and all. Now I don't think my previous fashion sense was exceptionally bad, and in fact, I have come to learn that I, at one point, had a somewhat unique aesthetic in the eyes of others. Nor does any of this mean that my aesthetic now is particularly chic. The contrary is almost certainly closer to the truth. Of course, I don't care about being chic; I care about feeling comfortable and looking good in my own mind, and I guess the point is that my personal style has become more aligned with more fashionable styles.

Okay, who cares? Well, the big thing for me right now is shoes. My appreciation for a good pair of shoes has grown in the past year, not exponentially, but probably more like a cubic or quartic. (GET IT, MATH JOKES?!) However, my fledgling admiration for the shoe has come under assault in the past few months. Those who know me probably know that I tend to like Skechers. They are not the greatest shoes, nor the most stylish, but I like a good few of their products and they always fit my feet very well.

HOWEVER.... the Skechers Shape-Up... thing.... is absolutely the fucking worst.


What the fuck is that? It is ugly incarnate, my friends. These are not even shoes; they are an abomination; a crime against humanity. And no matter what claims they purport about toning legs or whatever the fuck, it's still goddamn ugly. And for the record, I found the above image by Google image searching "ugly skechers."

PROOF



What do you think? Would you wear these? Now, I don't want to influence your decision, but if you say yes, I will burn your house down (with you in it... wearing these ugly-ass shoes.)

5 comments:

  1. A friend of mine recently got a pair. They're a little less hideous in person, although that's not saying much. Also, I've read a lot of anecdotal evidence that they basically don't do shit. Ergo, I will not be purchasing Sketchers Shape-Ups, nor their slightly-more-attractive older sister, the Reebok Easy-Tones.

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  2. "However, my fledgling admiration for the shoe has come under assault in the past few months."

    WHO HAS BEEN ASSAULTING YOUR FLEDGLINGS???

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  3. I know you posted that as a joke, Virginia, but...

    "Fledgling" is, in the case, an adjective. More specifically, a present-participle evolute (though the true verb form -- to fledge -- is practically obsolete). It is my admiration for the shoe that is being assaulted.

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  4. who has been assaulting your admiration of shoe?

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  5. ........The Skechers Shape-Up....

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