Identity Crisis

Three separate words have been thrown around lately to describe not only myself, but a variety of my friends, and I think it's about time we got this junk all sorted out.

The words are dork, geek and nerd.

First, let us go ahead and agree that it is possible for a person to be any combination of the three. Maybe they're all three; maybe they're just one. Deal? Good. Now, it is also possible that a person can be primarily one with elements of another thrown in. For example, a dork with nerd-like tendencies would be a nerdy dork. Following still?

Here's where it gets fun. Time to define.

Let us start with the dorks (anyone else start singing The Snorks theme? Just me? OK then...) Dorks tend to be the most socially awkward. Common symptoms are being overly silly, having off timing (especially when it comes to jokes), being late on popular trends and often being spotted getting lost in their own world. Dorks are probably the most lovable of the group. If you need some pop culture examples, see Dwight Schrute or John "J.D." Dorian.

Moving on to the nerds. It's all about intellect with this group. Maybe they show an outstanding knowledge of all topics or, more commonly, they specialize in one specific area. For example, there are movie nerds, TV nerds, music nerds, book nerds and hell, there are even sports nerds (they just aren't too fond of being called that). The easiest way to tell if you are a nerd is to start talking to someone about a topic you are particularly passionate about. You want to make sure they don't share the same passion. Once you are well into your conversation, make a note of a few things. First, are you the only one talking? Have they rolled their eyes multiple times? Are they looking around for someone or something else to save them from the conversation? NERD! It's cool. At least you share that with Jon Stewart and good ol' Spock.

Lastly, we have the geeks. These are no longer the guys who bite the heads off chickens. Maybe they partake in a few too many Mountain Dew Code Reds here and there, but you won't see many geeks at a carnival anytime soon. To define what makes a geek, you have to start with geek culture, and that is anything you will see at an E3 or Comic-Con, such as: computers, video games, comic books, comic movies, horror movies, anime, sci-fi, card games and board games. I could keep going, but you get the idea. Geeks have to have a specialty (like nerds) in a topic, but also need to maintain a broad knowledge in other topics. Geeks also tend to "know" they have 1337 $k!11Z 2 pwn n00bs (a set of skills that makes them better than everyone else). Some notable geeks are easily Stan Lee and the one and only Steve Jobs.

Let me go ahead and say you can probably classify yourself as at least one of the above. I myself tend to side with the geek + dork mix. Hawt, I know. Embrace it! At least you're not a spaz, loser or dweeb.