Trick Or Treat

You know Rule 34? That if it exists, there’s porn for it? Well I’d like to add a corollary to that rule: Rule 34.1—if it exists, someone is wearing a sexy version of it as a Halloween costume.

Now if Mean Girls taught us anything, it’s that once you’re past trick-or-treating age, Halloween tends to be not much more than an excuse for girls to get all dressed up in revealing clothing and call it a costume. Few girls can resist the allure of looking real hot, guilt-free, and it’s fun to dress up. But sometimes, it’s taken a little too far.

Like this, as posted a week or two ago on Geekologie:



Why in the world would there be a sexy Chewbacca costume? Well, because of Rule 34.1, that’s why. There’s surely a sexy Darth Vader costume out there somewhere, and I think we all know what a sexy Princess Leia costume looks like.

Leprechauns are well-known for their sexiness, right? Apparently they can be.



Of course, in this case, the company called it a “Sassy” Leprechaun costume. They’re rebranding.

What about this sassy Viking?



Scandinavia is pretty cold and the sea spray on those big wooden boats can be chilly as well—I know these things; Maelstrom is my favorite ride at EPCOT—so I think she should at least bring a light jacket or a blanket for her legs.

Or one of my favorites-- sassy Robin?



It’s probably a good thing Robin didn’t wear this costume in any of the Batman movies—the gay rumors are bad enough as it is.

Got a sweet tooth? Who doesn’t? Indulge your inner dessert-lover as a sexy Three Musketeers. No, not a sexy Musketeer, of which there are three—I actually mean a sexy Three Musketeers.




Of course, some costumes just really can’t—or at least, shouldn’t—be sexified. I would advise against any of the following, lest you border on inappropriate or at the very least, too ridiculous.

• Sexy Obama
  
• Sexy Chilean Miner
  
• Sexy Dwight Schrute
  
• Sexy Dora The Explorer
  
• Sexy Bobby Cox

As for me, I’m considering doing my tricking and treating as the Hamburglar this year. A sexy Hamburglar? Well, we’ll see. It is Halloween, after all.

Note: Full disclosure-- I've been a sexy nurse and a sexy zebra, and I one day intend to be a sexy Wonder Woman, so I don't judge! I suggest everyone dress as something awesome that they look real hot in. Then we'll all be happy.