You Know What I Hate?

Water levels in Mario. They are inevitably in every Mario game. They've been there since the beginning.



Things got even worse when Mario made the transition to 3D.



In 2D, you are defenseless unless you have a fireflower. In 3D, you are defenseless (maybe you can punch?). In both cases, the levels are slow, tedious, and sometimes Mario is difficult to control. The control issues are especially nerve-racking in the 3D Mario games.

I don't intend to say too much other than FUCK YOU UNDERWATER MARIO LEVELS.

I recently picked up Super Mario Galaxy 2, and I can already tell you I will hate the water stages. What do you guys think?

How to be Too Cool for School aka Get to Know TT.TKO.

Please have a freezer or better yet a glacier prepared to prevent face melting from the amount of pure awesome that will be coming at you. Seriously, this kind of face melting awesomeness hasn't been seen since those dumb nazi guys got dominated at the end of Raiders of the Lost Ark (this is why I always keep my eyes closed when opening presents).

We answer your questions, our own questions and better yet James Lipton's questions.

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Better Living Through Television

How do you take your TV? It was only a few years ago that the only option was to watch a show week to week, setting your VCR when you weren't going to be home, or hoping to catch reruns during summer hiatus. Now thanks to the rise of TV-on-DVD and websites like Hulu (not to mention the fact that you can find a torrent of almost any TV show ever made), it's easier than ever to be a television fan, a completist, a purist. I am all of these things. If I miss an episode of a show I'm a fan of, I won't watch subsequent episodes until I'm caught up. This separates me from the ranks of the casual TV viewers, and probably irritates my roommates, as our DVR fills up with episode after episode of 30 Rock, just because I missed the third show of the season.

But what's the ideal way to view a season of television, anyway? Watching it week to week has its merits: the anticipation builds, and you get seven days to mull over details and wonder where plotlines are headed. And don't forget the fact that week-to-week is how television is intended to be watched-- the writers plan storylines around hiatuses and sweeps months, and write cliffhangers specifically to build up that anticipation and create suspense.

But it's sometimes so nice to have an unwatched, pristine season of television waiting for you in your Netflix queue, or on a borrowed DVD set. You can lose track of the hours as you watch episode after episode. If one is less than stellar? Who cares! It's not like you waited longer to watch it than the time it took to change the disc. You can forgive a lot more flaws if you view something all in one go, which means you might be left with a better impression of a show. Case in point: Veronica Mars season 3, generally hated by fans, wasn't so bad for me when I watched it in one two-day bender. It's not the best season of television ever, and it pales in comparison to the near-flawless season 1, but I still generally enjoy it. Had I watched it week by week when it was still on the air, I might not feel so generous.

But still I'm torn. Friday Night Lights (the other best-show-you've-probably-never-seen) has just returned to NBC's lineup. The entire fourth season already aired on DirecTV, thanks to a dual-sponsorship situation, so I could easily torrent all the episodes and devour them at once. I even started to-- I watched the first three or four earlier this spring on my computer. But then I decided that maybe such a high-quality show deserves to be watched as intended. My plan is to view it weekly, savoring both the episodes and the in-between. Maybe that's the way television should be watched.

But more likely, I'll let the shows pile up on my DVR and stay up 'til 6 a.m. one night late in the season, each time promising myself just one...more...episode before sleep. Will I enjoy it any less? Probably not. But then, it's Friday Night Lights. Clear eyes; full hearts; can't lose.

Any arguments either way? I suppose the only conclusion I've reached for myself is that I love really excellent TV, and I'll take it however I can get it. Is there a right way and a wrong way to watch TV for you?

You Know What I Don't Get?

You know what I don't get? People who say, "I like everything but country."

Well I like everyone except people who have unoriginal answers. Seriously, the only time it is acceptable to answer that way to a question is if you are a 7th grader in a chatroom conversation and the previous question asked was "A/S/L?"

You really like everything BUT county? You like both Rammstein and Susan Boyle? Oh wait! You're full of crap. Maybe the real flaw is the initial question. Nah. By the time you leave high school you should have a list of bands/artists to run through if someone asked you, "What kind of music do you like?"

Hell, what is so wrong with country music, anyway? You may have to search real hard for it, but there is some country on my iPod. Maybe it's because I grew up in the Southeast corner of the US that I have an appreciation for country music. Don't get me wrong; I hate some of it as well. I went to a SEC school, and there is nothing quite like a room full of people screaming, "I've Got Friends In Low Places" with their Southern twangs bouncing off the walls, but do you know what happens next? The song immediately switches to the latest rap song with a catchy beat.

Go ahead and hate country. Won't hurt my feelings. I think country will do all right without you. Personally, I think some people are lying. Here is a fact that I didn't know ten minutes ago but I know now: Garth Brooks is the #2 best-selling music artist in the US, only behind The Beatles. Talk about convenient facts to back up this rant.

How about next time someone asks you about your music interests, you just give them your opinion. If you are really clueless, go run to your Facebook account and read off the music interests you typed up six years ago and have only updated a handful of times.

I like everyone...

but Matt.

Big Willie Style VS The Guy on Whom King Kong Has Nothing (What?)

Remember the Taking of Man on Fire Candidate Training Gangster Fisher Eli X

VS

The Legend of Bad Boys Made in the Pursuit of Legend Ali West of the State.


NEED I SAY MORE?


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What Would You Do?

So you stroll into your favorite [enter location here] and HOLY FUCK IT'S A ZOMBIE ASTRONAUT WHAT THE FUCK. You must defeat him, but how?

These are the kinds of questions we answer here at TT. The legitimate, hard-hitting questions. And by "hard-hitting" I mean I will literally cause you bodily harm by hitting you if you cross me.


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